|Not me. But similarly situated.|
Ok, so the $25 gallon of milk was mostly - well, completely - my fault. When we bought our house, Big D was so obsessed with the landscaping that his first project was to build a railroad tie retaining wall/box for flowers that spans the entire front yard. It was labor-intensive and looks great. Even though the ground was too hard to plant flowers.
Having driven down our driveway a million times without incident, I attempted to do so late one night to get Baby D his drink of choice. Ice cold milk. I took my mother, who was visiting, and we were off. Until I reached the end of the driveway and found that we weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
The car was suddenly and silently suspended in the air. This isn't a metaphor. Its back wheels were LITERALLY suspended two feet in the air because I found a way to drive up onto the railroad ties and catch the corner of the box on the underside of the car.
Upon hearing of my plan to simply "push" the car off of the wall, Big D rushed out of bed where he was reading Baby D a bedtime story. My mom and I were convinced he could just rock free a two ton automobile. Yes, I believed he could also qualify for "World's Strongest Man". After giving it a couple of shoves, he shook his head and went back upstairs, mumbling something under his breath about "how in the world she managed to drive the car up a wall".
Have no fear, friends. I had it all figured out. One call to AAA, one creative Thor-doppleganger flatbed tow truck driver and a $20 tip (what! That's all the cash I had in my purse!) later, the car was freed from its wooden pedestal. All before the neighbors awoke to witness the wood and metal spectacle.
Oh, and we ended up getting the $4.99 gallon of milk. At about 2 am.